How To Keep From Fighting With Your Parents?

How To Keep From Fighting with Your Parents

Sometimes your mom and dad can be really frustrating, unfair or even humiliating, which may make you more likely to argue with them. How can you keep your temper in check and prevent fights with your parents when they're are getting on your nerves? Read on for some helpful tips.

1. Slow down and think.

Taking things a bit slower lets you recognize and sort through your feelings as they happen. If you can recognize that you're feeling annoyed or angry, you may be better able to keep yourself from taking it out on Mom or Dad.

2. Count to 10.

This is another method for getting yourself to slow down and think about how you feel before you act. Take a deep breath, count slowly, then ask yourself how you feel and why. You may realize that it's not the best time to criticize your Dad's opinion, for example, and help yourself out by picking a better time to discuss your point of view with him.

3. Think of a way that your parents have helped or pleased you.

Everyone acts like a monster sometimes and an angel at others. Try to remember a time when your parents were being as wonderful as ever to balance out the negative feeling you're having about them at the moment.

4. Remind yourself that fighting usually doesn't solve problems.

You may not be feeling particularly rational, but try to use your head: Will picking a fight help resolve the situation at hand, or is there perhaps a better way? How can you address the issue calmly and with a clear head?

5. Don't be so hard on yourself.

So your dad's angry about your grades or your mom doesn't like your boyfriend or girlfriend. They're entitled to their opinions, but their opinions don't make you a bad person. You're allowed to have your own opinions, too. Use them wisely.

6. Consider what else is going on in your parents' lives.

Does your dad have the flu? Is your mom overworked? If they're behaving badly, it's no excuse, but it does give you some insight into why they might be more difficult than usual to get along with at the moment. Try to cut 'em some slack.

7. Consider what else is going on in your own life.

Are you not feeling well or reeling from a fight with a friend? Cut yourself some slack, too. Don't let your feelings about other events and people color how you treat your family members -- or anyone else, for that matter. You'd probably hate it if they did that to you, right?

8. Politely remind others that you need a little space.

If you can, calmly let your parents know you're feeling frustrated or moody and that it might be best for them to bring up touchy issues at another time. If they're not cooperating, try to set a time and place to talk later, when you're in a better mood.

Help! My Parents Don't Get Me!

My parents drive me crazy! They don't "get" me. It's like we're opposites. I try to talk to them, but they don't want to hear it. If something bad happens to me, I bet they wouldn't care. All I want is for them to understand me and be there for me, but they always want to make decisions for me without talking about it first. It's so frustrating!

It's so, so normal as a teen to feel like you have nothing in common with your parents, like they're trying to steer you in a direction that you don't want to go. But what can you do about it? You can't change the way they feel, and you certainly don't want to change your own personality.

You'll eventually get to a point where you and your parents can coexist with love and understanding...but probably not till you're older. Until then, here's the best you can do:

1. Learn to share your differences of opinion in a mature, respectful way

2. Pick your battles. Not everything needs to turn into an argument. In fact, you'll be a lot happier in the long run if you cool off and walk away.

3. Remember that even though you have your differences, your parents still love you and would be devastated if anything bad happened to you. Seriously. You can act like that isn't true, but deep down, I think you know it is.

4. Whenever your folks are stressing you out, keep in mind that in a couple of years this'll all fade away and you'll be able to make decisions for yourself. You're not trapped in this forever. Be patient.

How To Get Along With Your Parents

Does it feel like you and your parents just can't see eye to eye? Are you always fighting with them about YOUR life? Is all the arguing and butting heads stressing you out? Follow these steps to find some peace.

1. Make a list of the things that you and your parents fight about the most.

2. Identify what it is that gets you so upset or angry - are you mad that your parents disagree with you, or are you upset that they can't/won't see your point of view?

3. Decide on a FAIR compromise - a resolution that you can live with and that you think your parents' will accept. NOTE: A compromise means you give up some of your demands - it does not mean that you get your way.

4. Write down your proposed compromise and read it aloud at least three times to see how it sounds.

5. Set up a time to talk to your parents, do not just bring it up over dinner but make an actual appointment and tell them that you have an important proposal to make.

6. Bring your notes with you to the meeting so you can stay on track if/when emmotions get high. You may even want to consider reading the note to your parents like a speech.

7. Before talking to your parents, take a few deep breaths and think calming thoughts. Make a promise to yourself that you will not raise your voice or get angry even if your parents "turn up the volume."

8. When you have presented your case take another deep breath and let your parents talk. Really listen to what your parents have to say. Even if you do not like what they are saying hold back your anger and keep your ears and mind open.

9. Avoid shutting down or growing frustrated. Avoid interrupting them or jumping in with a rebuttal. Just listen and absorb what they say.

10. If your parents reject your proposal, stay focused and avoid getting emmotional. Thank them for their time and express your disappointment that you could not reach a compromise.

11. If your parents accept your proposal, be grateful and assure them that you will not let them down. Then do everything necessary to show them they made the right decision in going along with you.

12. Whatever the outcome, be sure to do what your parents ask of you. By going along with their wishes you build trust and show your maturity which in turn may make them more willing to relax their stand at a future date.

13. If the topic is a very sensitive one and you still can't see eye to eye, ask your parents what they need from you in order for them to consider your proposal.

14. Make a vow to give them what they need and ask them if you can agree to revisit the subject in a few weeks time.

15. If the outcome disappoints you, do not throw a fit. Go to your room and write your feelings in a journal or go outside and ride your bike or punch a pillow to blow off steam.